I realized something about myself this past week. I’m still a TCK. I spent most of the week going through and sorting my ex-husband’s stuff. And he had a lot of stuff. He never threw anything away and he was a shopper. So he accumulated a lot of stuff. The whole experience was one huge anxiety attack for me. How could anybody have so much stuff? I spend most of my time trying to get rid of stuff. I weed out my closet on a regular basis. I don’t want to be tied down to a bunch of “things”.
Granted he did have some kinda cool stuff.
As my son started going through it, he wanted to keep a lot of things. That is understandable. I get that. I know I get sentimental about things and he should have anything he wants to keep. However, as his pile grew, so did my anxiety.
“Are you sure you want that?”
“Is that something you really need?”
“I don’t think you need to keep that!”
I had to walk away several times. I had to force my mouth shut.
During the same week, I decided it was time to get rid of the bed I have had forever. Well, my mattress and box spring. I don’t actually have a real bed or a headboard. I have a metal frame. I have thought about buying a bed on several occasions. I think a sleigh bed would be nice. A beautiful big piece of furniture. But when it comes down to the wire, I can’t do it. I think about being tied down to a big piece of heavy furniture.
“What if I want to move?”
“What will I do with that big thing?”
“It doesn’t fit in my backpack.”
“I don’t need more stuff.”
Yes, I know this is totally irrational and crazy but there you have it.
Confessions of a Third Culture Kid.
On another note…. I now have a blog at the Baltimore Post Examiner:
My posts will be featured every Tuesday. Check it out!